I learn this from my son. He was reading something the other day. I asked him something, he literally and immediately closed his book, put it aside and look straight at me. I was shocked.. and mostly embarrassed. He simply put it down. I was his centre of attention.
I, on the other hand, will answer without even looking at my kids whenever they ask me anything. Sometimes, when this happens, I'll say.. sorry sorry.. can you please ask again, then I answered my very same answer but this time, while looking at them.
He likes helping me rinsing the dishes. He said, he loves talking to me. It's sad, because the only time I have for him is when he's helping me and my hands are too full to do something else and my minds are not cluttered as washing dishes do not require thinking.
When I had a maid, Neng, the minute my kids came back from school, they will rush straight to the maid's room. They went rushing as though they have something really important to tell. One day, I got the answer. They were so excited they forgot to close the door and I saw them around her. She was laying down on her tummy with her hands resting under her chin and her face looking excited. I was amazed. She looked as though she was watching a movie. My kids chatted happily, telling her what happened at school. Sometimes I hear them giggling. They were all looking genuinely happy.
The next day I asked her. She told me, she didn't get to go to school. She had to quit school so she loves listening to my kids telling her about their school life; friends, teachers or anything which tagged school with it.
We tend to 'know' our kids' stories because we have been there. We make assumption when our kids tell their frustrations at school and it is always our kids to be blame. We tell them to be a little bit patient a little bit of this and that but we'd rather hear ourselves talking. :(
I read somewhere, kids need to spend at least 3 minutes with us immediately after school. 3 minutes! That is way lesser than updating our facebook status. But somehow, we choose to update our status, ignoring our kids who are updating their status, live!
It's gonna be hard, beating technology, but I have to keep on telling myself, one day, when they are all grown up, we will be the one craving for attention and if we don't invest listening to their stories, they might do exactly how we do now because that's how they are taught the way it should be. Close bonded relationship is an investment that you will never regret. The fruit is just too juicy and rewarding.
I believe, if you listen to them or spend time, they will look for you every time they have things to say; be it their excitement or problem and when the time comes when you crave for their attention, insyaallah, they'll be there for you..
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