Will You Still be My Friend if I have Nothing to Offer?

Ever since i quite my job, one thing that i have been missing is the presence of friends around me. I'm definitely a people person. I remember in college, whenever I came back late and everyone had already had their lunch and dinner, I would insist they gather to accompany me. I just couldn't eat alone. Now that my hubby is joining me, working from home, things are quite better. Part of our bugdet adjustment this year, we mainly skip our regular breakfast outside and have our nescafe together.. My son said that we are both happy when we drink nescafe together.

There are a lot of things that I miss in my life.. My gatherings, my mini-meet-up with my bestfriend, my outings with families, as well as trips to Kampung. Not that i'm complaining, but life is very much different now; well, i'd say better in some ways. However, i can't help but wonder one thing.. my friends.

I remember a long lost friend who contacted me.. saying how much she misses me. I was flattered until she told me she needed a guarantor for her loan. I paid another friend with my service and was surprised with the long list of endless service. Until one day, i realised that she didn't need my service nor my friendship. A friend asked me a favour and i realized that she asked me to do it because she couldn't get that kind of pricing unless she gets a friend doing it. Then, once it's over, it's really over.. Another friend was extra nice until she knows for sure that the help that she needs was beyond my capabilities.

I no longer can drive anywhere i want whenever i want as we are extra careful with the budget nowadays. 2 regular outing per week might cause me another full tank for the month as well as my monthly family dinner budget. Skipping a trip to the movie may help us pay the Astro bill (which i insist should not be part of the budget adjustment as it's like a homeschool to me). Entertainment for the family has been replaced with trips to the playground and trips to the grocery has been merged with trips to school or cake deliveries.

Things have not been that bad actually. But, I sacrificed my working time because I insist on nursing my baby full time. Hubby works free lance to save his health from stress. It had happened before and I just love it that I'm mentally prepared for anything. That means adjusting our budget and sacrificing some of the not-so-important things. We still have oreo cheese cakes, pasta and other luxurious favourite food.. only the place in different; at the comfort of our home AND we are HAPPY!

I been wondering; if there will be a time that we really out of budget.. When my sedeqah will only be my smile and knowledge and time.. will you still be my friend?

Will You Still be My Friend if I have Nothing to Offer?