Smaller Circle as You Grow. Perfectly normal! ♥

I used to love being surrounded by people. In fact, there was a time that I almost got scared of I die alone. During high school, I kept changing friends. I just thought nobody liked me. When juniors wanted to bond and make me their 'pet' sister (if there is such a word), I refused because deep down inside me I'm scared of being left. I became that boring person who always doubt whether people like me or not. 

When I first met my boyfriend (my husband now), I didn't think of him leaving me. Somehow, I stopped thinking whether people liked me or not. It was like it was enough that he liked me. My relationship was nothing fancy. We were more friends than couple.

As I grew older and changed workplaces, I seldom 'extend' my friendship with my colleagues. I understood by then that a group of people were meant to meet only during that period of time and if you are lucky, you get to keep some of your colleagues as friends. I have a few lucky ones I 'carried forward' from the past but sadly they became acquaintances. When we meet (mostly virtually), I suddenly become aware that I don't know them well anymore. Mostly because everyone changed including me. 

Now that I have retired and started working from home, instead of using my contacts, I meet new clients.

My circle of friends become smaller and smaller which consist of close friends and even the circle of close friends get tinier consist of soulmates. The beauty of it is, you will connect once in a blue moon if you are not with your present friends. Plus, you don't get clingy like you used to that you suddenly search and depend on Him. There will be times that you realise that even the tiniest circle (of me and my husband) will not remain there forever. Each night before I sleep, I will look at him and wonder who will be the first to leave.

Smaller Circle as You Grow. Perfectly normal! ♥