Friday, March 30, 2012

Wahai Stranger.. Percayalah Rezeki Allah itu Ada Buat HambaNya..

He was a total stranger.. Betul bentul.. tinggi-tinggi bercermin mata. Senang cerita.. gayanya macam Rosham Noor masa berlakon menjadi suami dalam Suami, Isteri dan ...

Kami memang tidak mengenalinya.. tiba-tiba dia menjelma, kami juga tidak pasti di manakah kami berjumpa dia buat pertama kalinya. Dia seakan-akan kagum mendengar kami mempunyai 5 anak tapi bekerja sendiri dari rumah. Sedangkan dia mempunyai kiosk menjual pakaian lelaki dan juga bekerja bersama An di sebuah kedai emas menjadi salesman.

Kami terjumpa di shopping complex. Kerana kelurusan bendulnya, kami mempercayainya untuk membawa anak-anak kami ke tingkat bawah. Entah kenapa hati ini 'cuak' kalau-kalau lurus bendulnya itu sekadar lakonan. Cepat-cepat kami mengingatkan tentang apa yang diceritakan tentang kiosknya. Cepat-cepat kami turun ke tingkat bawah dan bergegas ke kiosknya. Sedang kami cuak, kami menyiasat kiosknya.. Boleh tahan, pakaian yang dijualnya. Apatah lagi kiosknya itu bersebelahan dengan kedai emas tempat dia bekerja. Kami terjumpa secebis kertas bertulis.. "Maafkan ayah" di bawahnya tertulis senarai beberapa cd lucah.. Ah.. rupanya si betul bendul ini ada 3 kerja.. Patutlah dia memang menghormati kami dan agak tertarik dengan kami yang betul-betul full time berniaga kek.

Lega.. tak sampai seminit kami di kiosknya.. dia tersenyum meleret dengan anak-anak kami. Legaa.. terasa bersalah pulak kerana berfikiran yang bukan-bukan. Walaupun begitu.. kami rasa terkilan.. kerana orang yang nampak gaya jujur seperti ini terpaksa mengorbankan imannya menjual cd lucah untuk mencari wang lebih sedangkan belum lagi mempunyai anak berderet-deret. Astaghfirullah.. kami terlalu cepat melabelnya.. Entah-entah cebisan kertas itu bukan miliknya.. Atau sebenarnya dia tidak pun menjual cd lucah cuma kami yang terlalu cepat membuat spekulasi. Sebenarnya, kami tak sempat berbual panjang dengannya sebab dia bergegas ke kaunter emas untuk melayan pelanggan sebaik sahaja dia menyerahkan kembali anak-anak kami. Ternyata dia memang orang yang baik-baik, dari raut mukanya, dari gayanya. Jadi entry blog kali ni ditujukan khas buatnya..

Percayalah Rezeki Allah itu Ada Buat HambaNya..

Walau tika balai melanda.. percayalah Rezeki Allah itu ada. Percayalah.. jika ianya bukan rezeki kita.. rezeki itu takkan jatuh ke tangan kita.. Ingatlah kadang-kadang kuih yang sedap yang sudah dibeli dengan nilai RM yang tinggi akan jatuh ke tanah juga.. dimakan oleh burung gagak yang selalunya makan dari tong sampah.. kerana ianya bukan rezeki kita.. Mungkin kita terpaksa berlapar berbanding gagak itu dan tidak hairan jika Allah memberikan kita lapar kerana kuih yang sedap itu mungkin mendatangkan penyakit kepada kita atau mungkin kuih itu belum betul tentu kesuciannya dan Allah sebenarnya menyelamatkan kita.

Percayalah.. di dunia ini, biarlah kita bekerja dengan gaji yang kecil tapi nilainya besar di mata Allah dek kerana keihklasan kita mengerjakannya kerana Allah. Dan percayalah.. rezeki itu tidak pernah sikit kerana Allah maha Pengasih dan sentiasa memberi kepada hambaNya yang terbaik..

Dan percayalah.. rezeki itu sebenarnya datang dalam berbagai bentuk dan cara. Sahabat yang baik, hati yang tenang, jiran yang berhemah, kereta buruk yang jarang-jarang rosak! Jangan sekali-kali percaya.. hidup kita yang paling susah kerana kaya tidak bermakna bahagia.. miskin tak bermakna binasa.

Percayalah.. Allah tidak akan meninggalkan kita apatah lagi apabila kita bekerja keranaNya.. dan memastikan apa yang dilakukan halal dan tidak memberikan kebinasaan kepada orang lain. Berniaga CD lucah sebagai jalan cepat.. memang mampu menjana wang dengan cepat.. tapi menggadai iman dan membuat 'investment' di jalan yang salah. Pernahkan anda terfikir.. bahawa kesan buruk dan dosa dari perbuatan hasil dari video lucah yang kita jual.. sedikit sebanyak memberikan saham akhirat kepada kita. Maukah kita bertanggungjawab jika orang yang membeli CD itu.. akhirnya beronani atau lebih teruk lagi merogol kerana tidak dapat melawan nafsu dek kerana CD tersebut.

Bertaubatlah si Bendul sebelum terlalu lewat. Percayalah Allah itu sentiasa berada di sisi orang yang beriman dan yang selalu berjuang untuk menegakkan syiarNya. Percayalah Rezeki Allah itu ada. Jangan kau gadai imanmu..

Kami terkilan kerana kami tidak tahu namanya.. tidak berusaha untuk lebih mengenalinya.. Tidak pula meminta nombor telefonnya kerana pertemuan kami dengannya hanya seketika mungkin tak lebih dari 10 minit... Tapi alhamdulillah.. ya Allah.. kami bersyukur kerana Kau menemukannya dengan kami walaupun hanya seketika sebagai tanda peringatan dari Mu untuk kami berkongsi di sini.. tentang keesaanMu, tentang rezekimu dan tentang kebahagiaan di dunia.. Terima kasih ya Allah.. kerana menghantar total Stranger itu ke dalam mimpiku.. Ya, dia hanyalah sebahagian dari mimpiku.. Alhamdulillah..
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Monday, March 19, 2012

I Lied, My Son... I Felt Awful

I promised my sis in law to let her know my feelings when i sent my son to his school..

Yesterday he called.. i was happy.. he asked me "ibu, okay?". I felt tight in my chest.. my eyes were watery and i miss him tremendously... Despite my feelings, my voice was singing.. "Ibu okay!" The truth is .. i lied and i'm getting better at it.

It had never occurred to me to let my son stay in a hostel at 13. NEVER! It was never planned, it was not dreamed, it was not part of the plan.. Well, it was 2 weeks away from the closing date to apply for MRSM.. and my friend suggested that we gave him the experience.. We listened and we applied.. without having any intention but to expose him to the interview. Then, an sms came from a friend about this new school, Imtiaz Melaka. We were thrilled and we tried.

The next thing we know, it was time to say goodbye. I just couldn't go and buy his stuff, i let my husband did it with him, claiming and insisting that those time spent hunting for his stuff is good for father-son bonding. My son asked me.. will i be okay if he didn't cry.. or rather chose not to cry.. I asked him the same thing to.. so, we made a pact.. to let the time and our feeling decide.

He didn't even send us to car.. he waited in his room instead.. It was hard to say goodbye.. in fact we never really said goodbye.. the journey home was quiet.. i guess everyone was still in shock. Being a mother.. i could not help thinking of those mothers who had lost their children forever.

2 weeks had passed.. 2 weeks seems forever.. i still have watery eyes when i suddenly think of him and i know it's exactly the same time when he is actually thinking of me.. and when this happens.. i will quickly forget or try to forget him for i know our bond is so strong that i might just send my sadness to him.

i think by now.. you'll understand a mother's feeling..being away from her child. But.. i always see it as a sacrifice.. or more accurately a jihad in the name of Allah.. We never own anything..everything and everyone is loaned by Allah.. and alhamdulillah Allah.. for that i'm grateful.
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Sunday, March 11, 2012

Sentap Tersentap: Fenomena Biasa di Facebook!

Pernah menyentap? Ke lagi selalu tersentap? Kat Facebook ni macam-macam hal! Ada sekali upload gambar buat kek.. kena sentap jugak.. Bila kita post benda general.. tiba-tiba kat wall orang lain.. ada tulis yang lebih kurang sama tapi dengan nada yang tersentap.. Mungkinkah satu kebetulan.. tapi mungkinkah satu konspirasi meluahkan perasaan? Ke tak ada kena mengena.. tapi kalau dah selalu sangat nada tersentap itu dalam setengah jam selepas status updates, mungkinkah itu satu kebetulan?

Ada pulak yang selalu sangat menyentap.. sikit sikit menyentap.. orang yang cuba disentap tak tersentap.. siap 'Like' pulak status tu.. Kadang-kadang kita tau... sesetengah tu memang dah ada 'grudges' kat luar Facebook..terbawa-bawa pulak di alam siber. Yang bestnya.. orang yang tanpa niat untuk disentap pulak yang terasa. Walhal tak ada kena mengena pun..

Sebenarnya.. tersentap itu bagus.. Cuma yang tak bagus tu.. kemungkinan untuk bersangka buruk itu ada. Tersentap itu sebenarnya menunjukkan yang kita memang dah ada 'guilt conscious'. Kita sendiri yang rasa bersalah, walaupun orang tak ada niat nak kata kat kita. Bak kata orang tua.. siapa makan cili, dialah terasa pedas.. Kalau tak makan cili.. tak rasalah pedas tu.. Jangan la pulak.. tak makan cili, tiba-tiba rasa pedas.. Kan susah dibuatnya.

Bagi yang tolong masak cili tu pulak.. janganlah pedaskan sangat.. Macam masak lemak cili padi.. menyengat tapi orang suka makan dan tambah tambah lagi. Ini tidak.. bagi cili padi.. lepas tu tenyeh selagi boleh tenyeh. Cili ni versatile.. ada cili kurang pedas, ekstra pedas.. ada jugak pedas tapi tak terasa kepedasannya sebab sedap! Orang yang pandai masak lemak cili macam tu.. memang orang mintak tambah lagi. Kan bagus macam tu..

Hmm.. betul-betul risky entry nina kali ni.. karang ramai yang terasa pulak.. tapi nina berani take that risk! Sebab nina sayang korang! Tak salah kan sekali sekala nina try masak lemak cili padi hehehe.. Apa-apapun.. lepas ni kalau nak tersentap.. sentap sopan-sopan ya.. Bukan apa.. takut nanti orang label kita meroyan pulak.. Lagi parah..

That's it for now, peace yaw!!!

p/s tak ada niat nak kenakan siapa siapa pun.. cuma nina reflect bila tengok macam2 status kat FB.. tapi nina minta ampun siap2 la ya.. kalau tersentap, anggaplah nina lakukan ini kerana Allah..








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Sunday, January 29, 2012

Hari ni kita cerita masak sikit la ya..

Sebenarnya stok barang makanan dalam rumah dah tinggal sikit jadi.. jenuh la dok mereka apa nak masak. Sekarang ni dah tak rajin buat stok macam dulu.. Bila nak masak baru beli.. bila malas nak masak, terus beli lauk balik masak nasi. Jadi nina nak kongsi "My Food Emergency List". Ecewah! Bukan apa.. nina selalu stock kan barang-barang ni untuk cater last minute cooking plan. Bukan eksyen taw tapi kot la ada yg kadang2 mati kutu nak masak apa ;D

1. Telur - staple food okay.. 
  • masak kicap, taucu, scrambled egg, sambal telur, sandwich telur, masak kurma, separuh masak, kari telur, nasi goreng cina dan macam2 lagi!!!
 
2. Makaroni 
  • Makaroni goreng (masak bengong je.. crushed garlic + tomato sauce + chilli sauce + oyster sauce + daun sup (opt) + pcah telur fuuuh)

3. Pasta / Spaghetti
  • Bolognese, with Sup Ayam, with White Sauce

4. Ikan Bilis
  • Sambal, Nasi goreng kampung, cucur, kerabu (bawang perah limau je yumss).

5. ROTI!!!! (this should be no 1 haha)
  • sandwich (mcm2), roti telur, puding roti, toast bread, cicah kari / masak lemak.

    kaylah.. nak tgk AJL, nanti sambung hehee

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Friday, January 20, 2012

Another Circle of Unaccomplished Resolution

I was cleaning up my notes and I found a book where I wrote my resolutions last year.. My heart was broken. It were all the same same resolution like this year which means most of them are never accomplished. I have to admit, 2011 was like a roller coaster for me. Despite the unaccomplished resolution, life was at the toughest (I think) and we braved almost all of it. We are now, insyaallah at the end of the roller coaster before another trip of roller coaster that we intend to ride (on our own accord). I remember riding the almost the same roller coaster back then in 2004-2005. We had to cling on to bits and pieces of strength and confidence that we have left in us. Last year or rather, a few months ago, we were reminded by Allah how we felt back then.

It's really strange and weird how we got courage from unexpected people or most of the time strangers. It's good to know who to depend on and who were our foe. Alhamdulillah.. we are grateful for every little help. We do not consider those who backed out as foe, if you ask me the truth.. They were the reasons that we become independent and braver to face judgment and criticism. They were the ones who make us realize that there is strength in us.

The courage and encouragement from people around us.. be it strangers and friends are surely not realized by them at all. I don't even think that they even realized how they have touched our lives positively. We, on the other hand, know exactly who we really owe to. And for this, we tend to cling on to the remarks and encouragement and the trust from them. The time spent, and ears lent are mostly paid back with our prayers to Allah so that they will be helped by others around them the way they helped us.

Mostly we get courage from our kids who makes the best of what we can afford to provide. We are grateful to Allah for having such grateful kids who never really complain or ask for anything. It's sad though, to realize how they have been keeping their needs and necessity to themselves. We never really hide anything from them. Any difficulties that we have are shared with them, not to burden them with the worries, but we believe that they can help especially by praying with us for the best!

Whatever it is.. along the way.. no matter how people affect you.. the one in control is you yourself.. You can't control what people do or say.. but what you can do is to stay as positive as you can and believe that whatever comes in front of you is a test specially for you from Allah the Almighty.. and having said that.. I'd say Alhamdulillah..





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Sunday, November 27, 2011

I'm Getting Older ;D

I was doing something else at my computer.. As usual, every Maal Hijrah, tv will be flooded with Malay dramas. Don't get me wrong, I love Malay dramas but then while the kids watch tv, I usually spend time at my computer, playing games, working on stuff that I can't manage to do when Muhammad is around. I do notice one thing lately.. whenever something interesting happened in the drama, I'll go like "what happened?", "why did she die?" bla bla bla.. I guess it happened so often that I realized how irritating I sound to my kids..

I remember those days when my grandma used to visit us.. and she has this habit of narrating and making her own conclusion of the stories hahaha.. I guess.. I'm getting older and I think I've created my own version of my grandma's habit!
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Thursday, November 3, 2011

Happy Birthday, Mama!!!


It's my mom's birthday and I'm dedicating this entry to her. Normally I'll sms not because I don't wanna call but I just thought that my mom is an SMS-person, so I think she prefers it that way.

I'm the second in my family and was really stubborn second. But I guess, Allah blessed me with the gift of being the second. I can understand my only daughter, who is the second, perfectly well. It's a very special bond and it was mostly based on my special bond with my mother. 

There was once long time ago that I sensed a hint of regret in her about motherhood and I think I could sense questions in her thought.. So, I think, as a birthday gift, I'd love to let her know some of the beautiful things that I remember when I think of her. My mom, a simple person.. 

My kids enjoy stories about her.. especially when I tell them about her 'doraemon' basket during Qurban at Surau after Aidil Adha prayers. From towels to knife and knife sharpening stone to extra chopping board, drinking water and god knows what else are there in her basket. During outing, there's always be mineral water which she shares with her grandchildren and to my astonishment.. the small bottle never fails to quench their thirst. She hates crowded places but enjoy the company of nature hence the time she spends in her garden.

What she doesn't know that I always find time to sneak in her surau at home to check out her Doa Album because I always remember her copying prayers from Al-Quran as reference and there are volumes of albums with Quranic Verses from eye remedy to verses for broken hearted!

At kampung, she always enjoy the company of her sister, 'Kak Milah', chatting and giggling away while cooking and catching up! What amazes me most is when her slang immediately swopped from 'bandar' to 'Kedah Pekat!' which all of us fail to follow!

After a long hectic journey from 'kampung', the first thing she would do is to do the laundry (???) and immediately prepare meals for us no matter how tired she is. Offer to eat out from my dad will always declined politely without words.

She can sense if something is wrong or kids are not well and can pop up in minutes to make sure that everything is okay. Most of my busy days as a baker is saved from the frozen gravy brought in containers wrapped in newspapers (nowadays she has this cooler bag from hypermarket) during quite frequent visit to my home.

There is a looong list of things that I adore about her.. but I think I'll just stop here.. and let it linger in my heart cause that's where I keep all the good memories about her.. Selamat Hari Lahir, Mama.. Semoga Allah merahmatimu dan dianugerahkan kebahagian di dunia akhirat atas segala kebaikanmu. You've been doing a great job and I just thought you should know that. I wanted to post a picture but I think I'll just respect your privacy! ;D


p/s was thinking of uploading of your FB profile photo!


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