1 less.is.BAD! 2.is worse!

Sebenarnya malas nak komplen sebab sendiri yang hantar anak masuk hostel, kan? Jadinya kenapa nak komplen? Pelik pulak rasa sebab anak mcam dah berkurang 2.

Masa makin cepat berlalu.. Tak dapat bayangkan kalau anak dah keluar semua. Tinggal berdua je.. kalau tinggal berdua, kalau tinggal sorang? Mati terkedu agaknya.

Dalam rumah macam dah gila bayang. Cuma kali ni gila-gila bayang sebab nak adapt seorang lagi tak ada. Pendek kata apa saja aktiviti yang dilakukan bersama, apa saja makanan yang dimakan bersama, apa saja yang ditonton bersama, mana saja tempat yang pergi bersama, semuanya membuatkan ibu sesak nafas.

Kalau 2 tahun lepas, tak boleh nak masak.beberapa bulan, hampir setiap masakan mengalirkan air mata, tahun ni tekad untuk mencuba menu-menu baharu sebab tak sanggup nak masak makanan kegemaran mereka.

Insyaallah.. setiap kerinduan ada ganjarannya. Rindu itu satu petanda baik; tanda kami rapat sekeluarga walaupun selalunya dengan anak menyinga. Tak dapat bayangkan kalau anak pergi selama-lamanya..
I have to stop writing now.. It's too painful to continue.. Ibu rindu.. :(

1 less.is.BAD! 2.is worse!

Browsing my recipe books (well, small part of it). If I ever gonna be organised, I think this should be the perfect area for me to start. Ever since the increase of the fuel price, things have been a bit tough, lesser customer for the cake business that we're planning an exit strategy. 

My husband is a bit superbusy lately that I have to take over buying the groceries. (yes, I don't like going out to buy because it's depressing when you have not been doing it for a while). My trips to the grocery shop is a bit upsetting. I somehow have made friends with them. It's like seeing friends instead of going to the grocery shops hahaha... Seriously.. every time I go inside, I'll greet everyone (worker) with salam. I think, some of the customers find it a bit weird but try it, it's great! I always get good service from them because of that (I guess, other than my charming smile ngeee).

Anyway, as contradicting as it sounds, it is a bit upsetting to go when it comes to the paying part. RM50 seems worthless nowadays, I can just spend it in minutes. Even the grocer agreed with me. He told me, spinach which normally costs RM4 per kg is now RM7 and they still have to mark up. I notice that the price increase is a bit too abrupt. I trust them so much that I never really bother to check the price. (Seriously). We have been buying from them since forever, and they will always tell if there's a price increase. They know we are selling cakes and they will give discount without us asking :D

Anyway, back to my recipe book, if planned, I guess, we can create hearty meals. I noticed at Pasar Malam (Night Market) in Bangi, they sell really fresh and cheap vegetables like RM5 for any 3 bunches. I just have to plan my meal so I can keep my vegetables fresh until the end of the week. Chicken is now chopped into smaller portion, divided into different parts like chicken breast (for Ayam masak Halia, spaghetti with white sauce, or chicken mushroom dip and sometimes popcorn chicken for snacking), the bony parts for soup or tom yam, the meaty ones for curry or masak lemak).

I guess, as soon as the new year starts, things are gonna be slightly more expensive because toll is gonna increase which gives a domino effect on the rest of the price. Insyaallah 2014 is gonna be a different year for me.. a busier me as I decided to be a serious blogger.. stay with me ya.. cause there will be updates on how I organise my meal..

Bubur Gandum.. Cerita di sebaliknya..

Alkisah bubur gandum. Sebenarnya taklah pandai masak bubur. selalunya sama ada terlalu manis atau kurang manis gila.Tak reti nak adjust gula sungguh. Letak gula merah semua tak manis.. Letak gula dah terlebih manis pulak. Pendek kata serba serbi tak kena.

Bubur gandum ni reti tak reti terpaksa jugaklah masak. Terjumpa gandum dijual dalam paket kecil besar sikit dari paket barli. Jadi belilah terus, ingat nak cuba.

Sekali anak-anak cuba, terus jatuh cinta. Rupanya, bila dah masak, ingatkan air dah sedang elok, esoknya rupanya gandum tu serap air tu esoknya bubur gandum dah jadi macam nasi impit pulak. Tambah air, masak lagi terus tawar balik. hish!

Sebenarnya dulu saya tak makan bubur gandum..sebab saya bukan jenis makan bubur tapi masa saya berkursus lepas SPM dulu, saya ter'crush' gila dengan satu kawan sekursus.

Bila dia tengok menu bubur gandum, semangat dia jadi lain macam. Saya tolak pelan-pelan mangkuk bubur saya pada dia sambil perati dia makan. Dia kalau makan bubur gandum tak toleh kiri kanan dah. Masa tulah saya dok perati.. hiks hiks.. Tapi habis kursus, hilang contact number.. gone dah tak jumpa lagi. [sigh]

Bubur Gandum.. Cerita di sebaliknya..

Bangkitlah Wahai Diri!

Forenote : Bahasa digunakan sangatlah bercampur bahasa inggeris dan melayu yg menggambarkan perasaanku yg [fill in the blanks]

Wow!!! tak berani nak check last entry berapa hari bulan. Sedar tak sedar.. there are a lot of favourite things that I stopped doing completely.. especially M.A.S.A.K. There was once when life was a little too hard to handle, I lost it in my own mind. Entah kenapa.. jadi tak perasan yang banyak benda yang selalu enjoy buat.. tiba-tiba jadi hilang semangat.

Bukan tak perasan, asyik-asyik makan roti (ada banyak cara nak makan roti ya. boleh check kat sini, beli lauk masak nasi, atau pun pergi menjelajah makan luar. The problem is KAMI JEMU MAKAN DI LUAR. We totally love home cooked meal. Jadi kalau nak makan pun, selalunya kami makan di kedai makan yang ala-ala rumah.. tak ramai sangat, masak simple, dan bila balik tak panting mcm woof woof (perasan tak kalau banyak sangat bahan perasa, balik dahaga macam hapa!!!)

Tapi seriously.. memang dah lama gila tak masak sampai sang suami macam hint hint minta masakkan (goreng telur pun tak apa huhuhuuu). Judge all you want.. but then, it was really the time that I stopped cooking completely... Pada mulanya.. I blamed the light.. Lampu dapur rosak dan gelap, I had to open the bathroom light to get some light, then I blamed the forewer wet kitchen.. pintu belakang tu asyik air masuk dari bawah bila hujan.. then I blamed the machine.. hose machine tu dah bocor it makes my wet kitchen even wetter.. Then I realized I was giving tonnes of excuses not to cook.. and I wonder why!

Bangkitlah Wahai Diri!

Bertabahlah wahai Hati..

Perasan jugak dah lama tak update blog. Sebenarnya 'a bit down' beberapa bulan lepas.. Entah kenapa, seakan patah semangat. Malas rasa nak update masa tengah down. Takut ter'emo' lebih. 

Hari-hari sebenarnya adalah benda baru yang hendak ditulis. Cuma tidak ada semangat untuk menulis. Bukan setakat untuk menulis sahaja. Pendek kata, semua aktiviti harian pun rasa macam mua. Rumah semak, baju bersepah, lantai tak bermop. Kadang-kadang rasa sedih. Main 'computer game' pun langsung tak main, 'seriously'.

Bila tak lalu nak main game, agak merisaukan sebab saya perasan, saya dapat banyak ilham dan idea masa main game. Rupanya mungkin otak saya dah ke alpha mode.. masa tu macam-macam ilham yang saya jana.. Tangan je ralit main keyboard. 

Anyway.. dipendekkan cerita.. setelah beberapa bulan hilang semangat, saya tersentak sendiri. Seolah-olah tidak bersyukur dengan apa yang Allah kurniakan dengan merungut sendiri. Saya malu dengan Allah. Nikmat mata saja belum cukup kita balas dengan ibadah kita yang tak seberapa.

Saya kembali mengutip semangat yang hilang.. berdoa biar Allah beri kekuatan.. dan berusaha untuk bertahan demi anak; harta saya. Sedih mengenangkan masa yang saya buang masa saya hilang semangat.. Semoga saya dapat kembali bersemangat seperti dulu.. malah lebih bersemangat lagi menghadapi cabaran akan datang..

Bertabahlah wahai Hati..

Rupanya Dendam Tak Habis Lagi :(

Alkisah bertahun dulu berkursus. Terjumpalah sorang yang paling menyakitkan hati. Saya ingat sejelas-jelasnya apa yang dia lakukan yang membuatkan saya sakit hati. Rupanya agak manis, boleh dibuat calon suami tapi saya begitu benci dia. Sebenarnya kursus tu dah lama.. lebih dari 20 tahun tapi sakit hati saya tak pernah padam. Banyak kali juga saya 'google' nama dia tapi memang tak jumpa. Ada jumpa tapi tak ada gambar dan pencarian saya belum berakhir sebab tadi je saya baru 'google' lagi. Bila difikirkan, apa yang penting sangat untuk saya 'jumpa' dia. Tertanya-tanya juga, kalau saya terjumpa, puas atau tidak hati saya? Saya pernah bagitau suami saya, kalau-kalau bila kami berjalan-jalan, tiba-tiba saya lempang seseorang.. tak lain tak bukan itulah orangnya.. Kih kih kih.. kelakar lah jugak, berani ke nak lempang orang, buatnya salah orang. Ataupun, katakanlah tiba-tiba terjumpa, dia berkopiah dan berjubah.. agak-agak nak terus lempang ke tidak. Banyak betul kenangan pahit dalam hidup ini tapi kebanyakkannya saya dah 'let go'. Buktinya, bila terjumpa kawan-kawan sekolah di facebook dulu, banyak memori saya yang dah terkubur. Banyak okay.. saya pun terkejut sebenarnya. Saya kira reunion saya tu dalam 2 tahun lepas, dan tahun sebelumnya, agak ramai jugalah saya 'ter'jumpa kawan-kawan sekolah rendah. Malangnya kebanyakan memori sekolah memang saya tak ingat. Bila saya selidik, rupanya saya telah berjaya memadamkan kenangan saya di sekolah sejak dari darjah 6 hinggalah ke tingkatan 3. Pelik kan? Rupa-rupanya.. saya banyak kenangan pahit semasa umur 12-15 sampai saya terpaksa padamkan sampai seolah-olah tahun itu tidak pernah berlaku. Saya cuma boleh ingat yang extreme sahaja. Berbalik cerita mamat benci ni. Nak dijadikan cerita, saya rasa saya terjumpa satu gambarnya di internet.. Punyalah sibuk benci dia sampai saya pun tak boleh nak verify sama ada itu gambarnya ataupun tidak. Jenuh saya keluarkan gambar kursus dulu dan bandingkan. Saya rasa sahlah itu orangnya tapi saya pun tak berapa yakin. Jadi, saya tertanya-tanya. Mungkinkah saya perlu melupakan dia 100% sebab kalau saya jumpa dia pun rasanya dia pun tak ingat kat saya dan tak ingat pun agaknya apa perangai dia yang menyakitkan hati.. Jadi nak tanya uols.. patutkah saya: 1) maafkan dan lupakan 2) buat tak tau dan move on 3) cari sampai dapat dan lempang 4) anggaplah itu satu pengalaman yang mendewasakan.. komen2 tawwwww...

Rupanya Dendam Tak Habis Lagi :(

Organizing is sooo Overwhelming! [sigh sigh sigh]

Well, here's the story in a glance... I quit teaching in 2007. The reasons; perhaps in another entry.. but I vowed to myself, never to leave a year passed by without new things learnt or practiced as a teacher. So, mostly voluntary work at my kiddies' school and kindy, I learnt to still be a teacher.
  
At first, it was Kindy, then Kindy teacher training, then English Communication for Primary Teachers then I started doing mini English Camp for UPSR, PMR, then I moved on to Holiday English Camp.. then finally it was English Classes thru Baking. I love all of them and the classes still go on until now.


2 years back, in 2011 or rather end of 2010, we (me and hubby) decided to start doing baking full time as it was more convenient then.. until last year I was gloomy whenever I started baking. It's just that, baking will occupy all the space we have at home. The cleaning up was a bit tiring. Last year I wanted to quit baking. Deep down in my heart, there's a teacher still wanting to teach.

 I remember when we decided to bake full time, it was just a stepping stone for me to get my teaching stuff organized so that we could do teaching and training full time. So, here I am.. going through my papers and drafts which are everywhere. The feeling is unbelievably overwhelming as I really don't know where to start as I constantly looking and reorganizing the same thing again and again. The most frustrating is the fact that most of the time I can't find it when in need. [sigh]. The good thing, though, I can always escape by creating new activities at the very last minute and the class is never a failure (wow! isn't that a sign of a good teacher?).

So, I'll stop organizing for a while.. rather I'd start thinking of how I'd keep all my teaching stuff. Start labelling and then only I'll start sorting again. Orait! off to sleep now.. p/s I've stopped writing at the moment as I was trying to get my kitchen organized and I tell you.... It's way behind schedule but I'm not giving up!

Labelling made easy with my Label Maker!

Books that help a lot in organizing.

Supposed color coding will help.. no chance with me.. everything is blurry blurry me..

Organizing is sooo Overwhelming! [sigh sigh sigh]

Resting Day!

I just finished my exam the day 2 days ago.. It's just a 15-day-weekend-course, but it seemed to take control over my life. It was just supposed to be a simple course; something to complement the practical life as a part time kindy teacher. But then, little that I know it came with 'practical' / 'amali' and an 3-hour exam. It was rewarding yet exhausting. By the end of the course which I did along with my life as a baker, I was mentally exhausted. I am not a multi tasker and I always wonder how some can manage working full time and attend the course at the same time both playing mother and wife. For me it was like a battle. A tough one.

The house; a complete mess especially with the avalanche of materials that I bought for the course, the massive pile of books and notes that needs sorting and the routine; which has been turned upside down. The result = tired mind that crave for sleep and more sleep. 

I'm drowning slowly in the mess that I create, the procrastination that never ends as I try to avoid facing it. 

I remember, a few friends coming by.. some causes me to jump when try to cover as much as I can.. and some that doesn't affect me at all. When they go home.. and I look around.. I feel blessed for having friends who do not mind at all.. I love how the see me and me alone.

Insyaallah.. I'll handle this; one at a time.. Little by little.. things are gonna get back to normal.. Alhamdulillah.. my little helper is more than willing to sort things out.. I feel blessed because during those time of worries.. she's always lend a helping hand.. comforting words and time to help me work things out. Embarrassing as it is, I have to admit.. it's a bit irony because I should be the one lending her my hands and time. 

Off I go.. first thing first.. My teaching files need sorting. Half way done on my baking table.. Adios!

Resting Day!

Day 6: Not Feeling Well.. Ahamdulillah..

I've been complaining so much that Allah granted my wishes.. Alhamdulillah.. our cake business has been blooming and I'm forever grateful.. well that's what I said. But I did the opposite.. being ungrateful.

I did complaint to my business partner that I'm not getting enough rest and not having enough time to clean up the house that I need a cleaner.. Among my other complaints were having not much time to do new RnD for new products.. but what I remember most is the fact that with baking.. I have lesser time talking to my kids as I have strict rules when it comes to baking.. 'NO TALKING WHEN IBU'S WEIGHING' 'PIPING NEEDS CONCENTRATION.. PLEASE BE QUIET" and it's sick!

Anyway.. it's the end of my sixth day (this entry took many2 hours and actually I'm finishing this on the 7th day) and I'm feeling better.. I have started baking and some of the cakes are on the way to be delivered. 

Alhamdulillah.. Allah granted me the rest that I want.. finally.. Without this coughing, flu and fever.. I might not take the rest that I want. I think it is a blessing in disguise indeed.. I spent time resting while keeping in touch with friends via Facebook, did a little research on youtube, pinterest and google of course.. (but I haven't done my slide for my english teacher training huhuhuhu.

I won't guarantee that I will not complaint.. but I just realize that.. being grateful does not only mean you say alhamdulillah.. but it should be accompanied by your action.. but I have to say.. saying it trains you to be grateful in action.. for a start.. till we meet again!

Day 6: Not Feeling Well.. Ahamdulillah..

Special Entry for Someone Special

It's someone's birthday today.. well, it's 40 minutes away before the birthday ends so I guess I'd just write something for her. I've stopped wishing birthdays.. I used to.. but somehow when something happened in my life and I got to know who my real friends are.. I've stopped wishing completely.. I just find it a bit hypocritical to somehow wish and not to the same thing behind our back..

One thing about our life is it's full of surprises.. but what we do have to believe is Allah is always with us all the time.. It's never a surprise for Him.. Everything is planned the way He wants it to be.. Every challenge we face is to draw us near Him. Look around us.. be grateful for what we have and never fail to thank Him. I'm just thankful for having you in my life. There are things that we don't see until someone point it out to you.. and you are one of the people that pointed something in my life making it more meaningful.. and I pray that one day.. you'll find someone like to to show you the extraordinary things that you can reach in your life..

Till we meet again in cyber space! Happy Birthday, my prayers with you.. {will not share what my prayers are though - lebih maqbul ;D}

Special Entry for Someone Special

I've been away for so long.. I've stopped writing almost completely.. When I traced.. my life started changing 2 years ago.. It's like attending School of Life.. Life has not been easy.. Life has been tough.. I guess.. it's a wake up call for me from Allah.. I made a promise to one of my ardent readers (yup, she told me that) that I'll continue writing.. Some asked why I've stopped and a friend insisted that her life is affected by my writings and said she's waiting. I've asked my husband's consent to share our story.. and here it goes.. I'm ready.. I'm BACK!

Friends or Not?

Hmm.. ever since I work from home.. Facebook has become my new office.. Selling cakes through FB is quite rewarding.. Cyber friends from Facebook Groups sometimes are closer now that I have more time online than offline. I don't really join many groups.. only the ones that I feel belong. Sometimes I've been added by friends to new groups.. I never really leave group.. but not being active either. Sometimes I stumble upon the same friends in many many groups and cannot help wondering.. is it because we have the same passion or problems that we think about..

The question is.. is there any difference between acquaintance, friends, close friends, cyber friends? I do notice that some cyber friends became best friends while best friends become colder and farer since most of my time are spent virtually.. I do notice some of my friendship remain silent and yet warm at heart. There are friends who I don't really contact online or offline but somehow we know we always remember each other. (There are two friends like this, really.. we really do not contact even for years sometimes.. but I know she always think and pray for me..vice versa). Don't ask me how I know but somehow I just know. There are also long lost friends especially those whom you met once long time ago during gathering and remain silent as you have not got the chance to get to know them because you've stopped attending the gathering.

Anyway... I just thought that I might not be in the real friends' list (be it in my own account or in FB groups) when :

1) S/he replies other people's comment but not mine.
2) S/he ignores me completely or giving me the cold shoulder
3) S/he disagrees with whatever I say even when it's just a simple joke
4) S/he stops commenting immediately everytime I comment on the thread
5) She starts doing all of the above after reading this entry
6) all of the above at the same time

This is NOT a NEGATIVE entry okay.. this is just me.. reflecting my FB moment.. I don't really feel small nor do I feel sad.. as I said...I'm merely reflecting.. so.. having said that, are you my friend? If not.. just please 'unfriend' me because you have no right stalking on my life on FB if you're not one hehehe.. or is it part of the plan? being FB friends so that you can see my life easily without being my real friends..

Come to think of it.. I may have a few that I have to 'unfriend' because I'm not doing justice to them.. Taaa!

Friends or Not?

I'm Getting Older ;D

I was doing something else at my computer.. As usual, every Maal Hijrah, tv will be flooded with Malay dramas. Don't get me wrong, I love Malay dramas but then while the kids watch tv, I usually spend time at my computer, playing games, working on stuff that I can't manage to do when Muhammad is around. I do notice one thing lately.. whenever something interesting happened in the drama, I'll go like "what happened?", "why did she die?" bla bla bla.. I guess it happened so often that I realized how irritating I sound to my kids..

I remember those days when my grandma used to visit us.. and she has this habit of narrating and making her own conclusion of the stories hahaha.. I guess.. I'm getting older and I think I've created my own version of my grandma's habit!

I'm Getting Older ;D

Happy Birthday, Mama!!!

It's my mom's birthday and I'm dedicating this entry to her. Normally I'll sms not because I don't wanna call but I just thought that my mom is an SMS-person, so I think she prefers it that way.

I'm the second in my family and was really stubborn second. But I guess, Allah blessed me with the gift of being the second. I can understand my only daughter, who is the second, perfectly well. It's a very special bond and it was mostly based on my special bond with my mother. 

There was once long time ago that I sensed a hint of regret in her about motherhood and I think I could sense questions in her thought.. So, I think, as a birthday gift, I'd love to let her know some of the beautiful things that I remember when I think of her. My mom, a simple person.. 

My kids enjoy stories about her.. especially when I tell them about her 'doraemon' basket during Qurban at Surau after Aidil Adha prayers. From towels to knife and knife sharpening stone to extra chopping board, drinking water and god knows what else are there in her basket. During outing, there's always be mineral water which she shares with her grandchildren and to my astonishment.. the small bottle never fails to quench their thirst. She hates crowded places but enjoy the company of nature hence the time she spends in her garden.

What she doesn't know that I always find time to sneak in her surau at home to check out her Doa Album because I always remember her copying prayers from Al-Quran as reference and there are volumes of albums with Quranic Verses from eye remedy to verses for broken hearted!

At kampung, she always enjoy the company of her sister, 'Kak Milah', chatting and giggling away while cooking and catching up! What amazes me most is when her slang immediately swopped from 'bandar' to 'Kedah Pekat!' which all of us fail to follow!

After a long hectic journey from 'kampung', the first thing she would do is to do the laundry (???) and immediately prepare meals for us no matter how tired she is. Offer to eat out from my dad will always declined politely without words.

She can sense if something is wrong or kids are not well and can pop up in minutes to make sure that everything is okay. Most of my busy days as a baker is saved from the frozen gravy brought in containers wrapped in newspapers (nowadays she has this cooler bag from hypermarket) during quite frequent visit to my home.

There is a looong list of things that I adore about her.. but I think I'll just stop here.. and let it linger in my heart cause that's where I keep all the good memories about her.. Selamat Hari Lahir, Mama.. Semoga Allah merahmatimu dan dianugerahkan kebahagian di dunia akhirat atas segala kebaikanmu. You've been doing a great job and I just thought you should know that. I wanted to post a picture but I think I'll just respect your privacy! ;D


p/s was thinking of uploading of your FB profile photo!

Happy Birthday, Mama!!!

Down Memory Lane

I don't know why but lately I've been thinking a lot about school. This year was the year that we decided to bake full time and take some time sorting some things out especially my notes and teaching ideas that are scattered all over the place. A few weeks ago, I started decluttering my house and threw all the school related papers / books that I have been postponing to throw. Well, in case you are wondering.. I quit my job as a teacher in government school in 2007; not because of my passion as a teacher but because I was quite frustrated with the system. Without realizing (until I write this) 2011 is my 4th year being an almost full time mom.

Today, I logged in my 'other' Facebook account where my friends are all ex-students. I don't know why I logged in but when I look through their photo album and their status, it just struck me. It triggers all the sweet and not so sweet memories being a teacher. Having to quit was painful.. my life belong to my students. I should be teaching.. maybe not as a government school teacher but I should never leave teaching. In fact, I never really did..

Ever since I quit, I never really quit teaching completely.. I rested 1 whole year before I started having baking classes with my friends and neighbours, the very next year, I went teaching a completely new sets of students; kindergarten which was more rewarding and satisfying. The next year, I was nursing my baby full time and the year after, only I did full time baking at home. Yet, I did English camp, volunteering myself at my kids' school and friends' places, training kindy teachers and start experimenting with Fun English activities with little children along the way.

May this year be a starting point for me as a better teacher.. 2012.. insyaallah.. (i'll keep my plans to myself).

Down Memory Lane

Last Minute Plan untuk Ramadhan

Tahun ni tak taulah kenapa memang kelam kabut semacam. Something happened a few days ago.. tu yang jadi lagi kelam kabut.. Nothing happened yang teruk sampai tak boleh manage tapi membuatkan kami agak 'negatif'.. Alih-alih tak perasan dah nak masuk ramadhan.. Anak yang ingatkan sebenarnya.. Selalunya memang kami menunggu-nunggu.. Alhamdulillah.. bila anak sekolah agama.. cikgu-cikgu lebih cepat meyuntik semangat Ramadhan..

Irfan (5 tahun) cakap cikgu akan bagi angpow kalau puasa penuh. Anak-anak yang lain.. sibuk kata balik 2.30 semasa ramadhan jadi.. mereka pun memang gembira.. Sebaik lepas Raya.. anak yang sulung akan menghadapi UPSR. Ternyata strategi tahun ini memang akan berbeza.

Yang paling beza sekali sudah tentunya.. jualan biskut pada tahun ini lain dari tahun2 sebelumnya. Marble Shortbread tak jual tahun ni. Salah satu sebabnya tentulah bab mencuci dan memasang loyang marble. Kami ada sepuluh loyang marble.. Nak pasang dan basuh tu memanglah ambil masa.. Dengan keadaan Muhammad yang akan berhenti menyusu.. sudah tentunya ibu Muhammad akan lebih emosi. Dengan Naufal yang akan ambil periksa.. kerja-kerja renyah yang selalunya kami lakukan sekeluarga sebagai bisnes keluarga terpaksa kami korbankan terus.

Dalam pada itu.. oven sudah down satu dan microwave sudah rosak.. masih belum sempat dibaiki.. jadi.. hal itu memang akan diambil kira. Nak kata pening tu tidaklah.. marble ni sebenarnya costnya lebih mahal dari sampret dan oaty grated.. jadi modal lebih besar.. walaupun margin keuntungan lebih besar.. rasanya bila buat yg lebih murah.. tak jadi masaalah sebab memang boleh jual volume.

Apa-apa pun.. hari ni = hari mencuci dan mengemas rumah bagi menyambut kedatangan Ramadhan.. Sayu hati ni.. sebab.. memang kami sekeluarga lalai.. lupa dan tidak sedar kedatangan Rejab dan Syaaban.. Fidyah puasa sudah pun dilangsaikan semalam.. membuktikan yang nina tak sempat habis ganti puasa.. Nina dah siap pesan pada anak, kalau ibu sudah tiada.. minta tolong gantikan sebab waris yang sepatutnya gantikan.. bukan suami. Tahun ni, nina mengganti puasa nazar, menyusu ni.. memang sentiasa lapar.. patutnya nina lebih kuat semangat..

Selambat Menyambut Ramadhan semua.. Harapnya kita tidak lalai mengejar dunia.. sehingga lupa bonus bonus yang ALlah sediakan .. sepanjang Ramadhan... Ampunkan kami ya Allah.. kami lalai.. Berilah kami hidayah ya Allah. amiin amiin ya robbal 'alamiin..

Last Minute Plan untuk Ramadhan

Journal | ...

Entah kenapa hati tak sedap dari semalam.. Rasa sedih pun ada.. rasa sunyi pun ada.. rasa macam tak sedap hati. Mungkinkah remark - remark orang keliling yang tak sedap didengar. Mungkinkah perasaan yang agak sensitif akhir-akhir ini menunjukkan umur yang makin meningkat ataupun hormon yang sentiasa berubah.

Bila difikirkan.. apa yang orang lain fikir memang tak penting. Bukan salah kita orang lain tak boleh tutup mulut. Mungkinkah hati sakit kerana apa yang dikatakan itu ada benarnya. Ataupun kita yang terlalu ego untuk mengakui hakikatnya.

Days come and go.. Night falls and pass.. time flies..
Along the way.. we meet a long of people.. a lot of strangers.. a lot of acquaintance and friends..
As the passes our lives.. they touch and make an impact..
Sometimes positively and sometimes it's so bad that it changes someone's life completely..
I know how powerful those impact can be in our lives..
I just hope that.. if I ever make any.. even if it's a tiny one..
I just pray that it's a positive one..

I just don't want to be responsible for any changes that I caused.. negatively
nor do I want to be responsible for any damage in a person's feelings..
the way people touch mine a few days ago..

I now release the past.. it's time to let go..
I know.. whatever remark that people do.. whatever smirk that's clearly seen on their faces.. I know that it lies in my hand to channel it into a positive energy..
At least I know it will make me a more compassionate and a more careful person thinking of the pain that it caused me.. and for that.. Alhamdulillah.. Ya Allah.. aku redho..

Journal | ...

Huhuhuuu Tak Tidur Lagi!

Sebenarnya tak komplen pun.. tapi rumah ni dah berpusing dah ni.. kek tak siap deco lagi.. Mata memang mengantuk tahap gaban ni huhuhuuu..

Ni lah penangan hari guru! Nina bersyukur sangat.. Doa siapalah agaknya.. rezeki bertambah melimpah ruah.. Alhamdulillah.. Nina mengantuk tapi nak tidur takut terlajak, nak deco terus takut kek hancus! Yelah.. kalau dah mengantuk dipaksa-paksa tu mulalah weng skit! Entah kenapa.. kek yang nak jamu kawan-kawan agak comot. Siapalah yang letak cheese kat tingkat atas sekali.. habis berbiji-biji cheese dia!

Takpelah kawan-kawan ya.. janji hati ikhlas nak bagi kawan-kawan rasa. Nanti, kalau ada rezeki, nina tambah oven lagi satu ya! Senang sikit nak bakar kek. Ini terpaksa tolak order..

Okaylah ya.. nina baru nak sembahyang isyak! Yelah.. ambil peluang berehat. Lega skit kalau rukuk dan sujud tu.. betul-betulkan postur badan.. Allah maha mengetahui.. sudah tentunya solat itu direka khas sesuai dengan badan kita! Nanti, insyaallah nina tulis lagi yaaa!~!! muah!

Oh ya! Selamat Hari Guru semua!!!

Huhuhuuu Tak Tidur Lagi!

M Besar M kecik.. M untuk M.A.L.A.S!

Entah kenapa.. malas betul nak buat apa-apa pun. Mungkin sebab setengah hari duduk dalam kereta saja. Mula-mula delivery ke Setapak, lepas tu ke Bake with Yen yang tertangguh berbulan-bulan, akhir sekali ke CKE Cheras sebab ambil oven yang tersimbah air. Patutnya bila dah dapat balik oven tu mestilah berkobar-kobar semangat nak membakar tapi tak pulak.

Sebenarnya nina ambil cuti 3 hari, dah tak larat nak membakar, ingatkan nak kira stok dan kemas balik apa yang dah lintang-pukang ni. Tapi tu lah dianya.. 3 hari pergi mengurut pagi.. dah kepenatan. Well, I deserve all the rest in the world.

Satu pesennya nina ni pulak.. bila dah "mind set" tu ada a list of things to do.. Mesti nak ikut aturan tu jugak. Tu yang jadi tertangguh-tangguh tu.. Bila satu terbengkalai.. selagi tak siap yang tu, memang la malas nak buat apa pun.

Sebenarnya panjang list kerja ni:

1) Buat costing n kira stok untuk big delivery next week
2) Cukupkan barang-barang yang tak cukup tu
3) Timbang siap2 ikut bancuhan bila hari kejadian tak la terkial-kial
4) Siapkan ganache untuk esok
5) siapkan lagi cupcake sebab tadi dah salah kira, tak cukup lagi 65 bijik!
6) siapkan kek pisang yang dah kena skodeng pisang sebijik..
7) hias cupcake medium yang tak boleh nak buat lagi sebab ganache tak buat lagi dan ambil masa sebab nak tunggu set dulu
8) buat roti bakar sebab tengah lapar walaupun dah tengah malam..

okeylah ya! good luck untuk diri sendiri.. hah! tunggu apa lagi perempuan! karang tak tidur mak jugak yang susah!!! Mata dah ngantuk.. buang je list tu jauh2, pastu buat ganache dan tidur!! aci? aci la.. sebab yang susah diri sendiri nanti huhuhuuuuuuu

M Besar M kecik.. M untuk M.A.L.A.S!

What a Day! What a Gloomy Day!

Entah kenapa hari ni macam tak bersemangat saja. Rumah lintang pukang. Hati gundah gulana. Rasa malas nak buat apa pun. Malam tadi update gambar-gambar, tidur pukul 3 pagi. Bangun macam biasa dan sempat bakar kek untuk order petang tadi. Kalau kek barbie tu berlemuih la meja dengan buttercream.

Pagi tadi dapat panggilan dari kakak, pakcik collapse dan masuk ICU. Mungkin sebab itu ke? Petang tadi call balik, alhamdulillah dah masuk ke wad biasa dan okay. Tolong doakan ya kawan-kawan agar dia kembali sembuh. Tak payah komen doa pun takpe sebab doa seorang sahabat tanpa pengetahuan sahabatnya lebih makbul. Nina pun baru diingatkan oleh seseorang tentang itu. Jadi kalau nina tak komen apa-apa bila ada kematian atau kemalangan, cukuplah hanya Allah yang tahu. ;)

Mungkinkah sebab beberapa hari yang lepas, nina masak marble cheese dan terlupa dalam loyang ada air, nina tutup pintu oven dan tersimbah penuh air ke oven. Tak berani nak 'switch on' balik oven. Tunggu nina call CKE dulu. Risau juga sebab itu lah mata pencarian nina. Kalau rosak, manalah nina nak dapat ganti. Harap-harap semua okay. Alhamdulillah, oven lagi satu tu masih bernyawa. Ingat-ingatkan balik, mungkin Allah nak berikan ilmu baru. Dek oven tu tak berani nak pasang, nina berani la bakar chocolate grated cookies tu masuk dua loyang. Tambah masa sikit dan kalehkan yang atas ke bawah dan vice versa bila dah separuh masa. Alhamdulillah.

Okaylah ya.. nanti nina tulis lagi ya! Thanks for reading! you guys make me wanting to write more! TTFN!

What a Day! What a Gloomy Day!